dream vs reality

if this is reality then why does it feel so fake? i can see myself about to make some type of mistake, but i'm just going to say it like it is: i don't care. and it feels pretty great. i look off into the distance behind my closed lids as my mind plays tricks and i make decisions in my fantasies. i sit abandoned in the sauna-esque room and think. think way too much for a normal brain. what am i? who am i? what's going on? where are you? where were you when i needed you? these are the only thoughts, along with a consequential side of you and i in our past. our kisses, our hugs, our stupid laughs and tricks. they felt so good then. i wish they could feel that way again. this ramble is so much of my mind, but no where near all of it. words can never express all of my thoughts. i play out an unrealistic picture in my head but somehow, because it's thought about so much, it does seem real. at least for a moment. and i want to live in that moment forever.